Day 10

Meal:

7am- 1/3 oats and 4 egg whites with cinnamon and stevia

10am- Arnold Sandwich thins and 1 tbsn white chocolate PB

coffee
*crap, I need water...

1pm- 85g of veggie mix (broccolli, red bell pepper, snow peas, onion), 1/2 brown rice, lite cheese, salsa, 85g shrimp.

4pm- one small cutie (mangarin), one medium orange, one scoop myofusion protein with water.

7:15pm- weak McD's side salad (leafy greens, 3 tomatos, slices of carrots) with a salmon patty, veggie mix, lite cheese, and salsa. mmmm delcious. The salmon patty is de-li-cious!! it's soooo flavorful


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Mannnn, after day 3 of this whole "diet" challenge, it seemed to go by smoothly, and for some reason, I am struggling. I think due to the lack of motivation and mood I have been in. I have been so moody and emotional, which results in desiring comfort from food (hellllooo emotional eating) I want the ice cream and the nutter butter!

Yesterday I almost got pizza, because I had a frustrated day! I come to my moms house and see a nutter butter and was thinking about eating just ONE, but I know it would result in TWO.

I don't think it's wrong to necessarily indulge in one of those things, but I don't want to feel deprived. I think there needs to be a difference in distingushing WHY I want those items. For instance, I went through a few rational reasons, and found that I wanted to eat the nutter butter because I had a horrible morning. I did poorly on a quiz which I was not prepared for, as a result a nutter butter would make me happy!

 eckckk!

But it's different when my mom comes home with carne asada quesdilla with guacamole and salsa. She asked if I wanted some, and I said "ew, no!" haha. I LOVE mexican food. I don't know what point I am trying to make with this one.....

But what I said earlier about feeling deprived...it's so easy for feelings to change. At that moment I felt deprived and wanted a feeling of happiness...but after I came to conclusion to all this mess, my feelings changed towards food for that splt second. I no longer needed food to make me feel good, so there fore I didn't feel deprived?

Plus, I also thought about how that food would make me feel. Greasy Quesdilla = bloated, gassy, yucky, moody.

Nutter Butter = bad sugar crash and bloat! hard effort gone to waste. But it's sooo good!


Gosh I am sooo confusing, it makes sense in my weird little brain.

Incase you were wondering, no, I did not have that nutter butter or that quesdilla. woot! self-control, will!
DAMN! 2 and a half more weeks.